(Mis)Matched-Part I

"You need to screw your way out of this", this is the sound advice I've received from most of my friends regarding dealing with post-breakup. Even though I think I would have heeded this advice years ago, I've just found that I haven't felt like dealing with dating in general and with men specifically. That being said, last Sunday, I woke up a little hungover and decided to sign up on Match.com.

My rationale for signing up for Match was that I enjoy online shopping. So if I do it with clothing, why not with men? The experience with Match for me has been like trying to find a Chanel suit in a T.J. Maxx. I've also equated it with the employees at the Abercrombie Outlets: they're good-looking, but not as good-looking as the regular Abercrombie workers and they're as irregular as the outlet clothing they sell.

Lots of my friends have used the service and I'm not knocking that, but I've just been a little overwhelmed with the whole experience. It's like being hit on by mostly men you would never be interested in dating/grabbing drinks with/making eye contact with. To date, I've received 79 emails, 70 winks (totally non-committal) and 76 "he's interested" (absolutely non-committal).

To get a sense of what I'll be talking about, I'm posting a choice selection of emails I've received:

"What a great profile, very funny. I think we have a lot in common. I hope to hear back from you." (Fine, whatever. Why don't you tell me what we have in common?)

Excerpt: "In general, I'm looking to meet someone who might enjoy exploring NYC, who likes to laugh and likes to think, and who enjoys being challenged and learning new things. I admit straight up that I'm only 5'6'', but that's one of the least important things about me. If you think we might have some things in common, it would be fun to have a chance to talk (maybe over tea/coffee or something). You can tell me all the reasons why Chicago is or is not better than NYC. " (Ok great, but what part of over 6' tall did you not understand?)

"emailed u before. i just realized i only have membserhip until this wknd. i hop e to hear from you because i really want to meet you. my personal email isXXXX@XXX.com whats yours?" (Um, if I didn't email you back, it's because I didn't feel like it. I don't care about your damn membership)

I state pretty clearly in my profile that I'm "not looking for a soulmate here, there or anywhere." And to highlight that fact, here's the one of the 5 emails I've written back on Match.com:

"You're tall, hot and funny. Want to grab a drink sometime"

It turns out that he does want to grab a drink, we'll see.

Part II: Three dates in three days...