Don't Talk to Me Until After I Eat..Maybe Not Then Either

I work in the middle of Times Square, which is pretty ridiculous.  It's basically a shit show every day of the week and let's be frank, tourists are some of the most annoying people in the world.  So because I hate leaving the office, I go to our cafeteria upstairs most mornings for breakfast.

Early mornings are spent with my trainer or at the gym, so I'm usually starving by the time I get to work.  This morning, I get in line to make my own omelet, the usual (spinach, broccoli, turkey and feta with egg whites) and this dude starts talking to me.  Straight off I knew he wasn't my type and I just wasn't in the mood to chat. 

He starts joking with the omelet guy about how he should run for Mayor and I could be his Vice President.  I quickly correct him about the fact that Mayors don't have Vice Presidents and he fucking keeps talking to me! On top of that, he kept touching me on the arm.  Here's one thing to keep in mind, don't touch me.  If you're a stranger and not hot, then don't touch me.  I actually get very irritated by it, it's hard to explain. This is how our conversation goes:

Him: So you're pretty up on your politics (based on the fact that I knew mayors don't have Vice Presidents, asshole)

Me: Yeah, I was in DC for a while

Him: So, you're a lawyer? You look like you have great style (I do, but what does that have anything to do with anything?)

Me: Thanks

Him: You've got that sexy librarian thing going on

Me: I need to get some toast

Anyway, I excuse myself and when I get back, I stand off to the side and do that thing where you pretend to text/email so you don't have to talk to people.  Then, this mfer walks back up to me and here's the conversation that transpired:

Him: How are you supposed to call me if you don't have my number.

Me: I'm not going to call you.

Him: Can't blame a guy for trying. God, I have a lot of meetings today.

Me: Great

I'm definitely not a rude person but sometimes men are just so dumb! Ugh and also, don't talk to me until I've eaten something.  Thanks.

Lesson Learned: Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind