Dating Up/Dating Down

Recently I had a conversation with a few of my friends about the dynamics of dating up/dating down and here are the findings:

Definitions according to me (the ultimate word in dating, not really):

Dating Up: Dating someone who is physically more attractive than you are.

Dating Down: Dating someone who is physically less attractive than you are.

I have a history of dating down and there are definitely reasons why. Dating down lets you feel better about yourself. I think that everyone wants to feel as if he/she is a catch and the other person is lucky to be with them. This isn't right, oftentimes is a little sad, but everyone does it. I never wanted to be in a couple where someone saw the two of us and thought "why is HE with HER?" This is probably based in insecurity but it is actually a fact of life for many women.

Speaking to some of my straight male friends, I deduced (how very Sherlock Holmes of me) that it's commonly known that men are more superficial than women. Women will frequently look past a man's looks because he's brilliant, funny, driven, etc. Men, however, will put more weight on how a woman looks. Both contribute to the practice of women dating down.

To my knowledge, I can't think of a time when a man dated down...except for celebrities who marry/date a "normal" (I just think the the term is funny).

2010 is a new year for me and I think it's time to date up. Not really so much dating up but stop being afraid of good-looking men. I've finally started coming into my own and realizing that I deserve to be with someone who is complex (in a good way) and disgustingly hot. At the same time, this doesn't mean that I'll start judging men solely on physical appearances. Honestly I'm not sure what this means, maybe just that I won't feel like I don't deserve someone who's the total package and that, just means a lot of self-reflection and daily affirmations (can I get a shout out to Stewart Smally?)

What am I saying?! I don't even want to be seriously dating someone. I just want someone to stare at and occasionally talk to/at, lol.

Lesson learned: "If you can't love yourself, how the hell are you going to love somebody else?" - Ru Paul