Building a Roster

Build a roster, fill a rotation, creating a starting team. Call it what you will, but when you're casually dating, you need to be filling a rotation of go-to guys. Since I'm not looking for the perfect man right now (not sure that he exists), I need to be finding a rotation of guys that when put together, make the perfect man.


Call it my little Frankenstein experiment if you want, but it's essential for me to have a couple of pokers in the fire at once (didn't mean for that to sound dirty, but it kind of does). One man can fill the looks quota, while another can fill the emotional quota. One guy can be manly and build things whereas another can be the artist. I say this is essential because it's a way for me to keep from getting attached to one person and getting a little too invested in how one person is feeling. Also, if one guy is busy (people in New York City just are, all the time), then someone else is always available.


I'm a serial monogamist, I just am. It's something about me that I want to change for a undetermined period of time. I need and want to be single and unattached, but there's that pull for me to nurture and to connect with just one person.


The need to be single stems from the fact that I want to find out what I like and find out what I ultimately want. I've felt like Julia Robert's character from Runaway Bride. There's a scene where Richard Gere asks her how she likes her eggs and she always gives a different answer depending on what her beau at the time preferred. Ultimately she quits everyone and finds out what kind of eggs SHE likes. I want time to find out what kind of eggs I like.


The system of building a roster doesn't always work, it's definitely not fool proof because inevitably you either start having feelings for someone or you sabotage any chance of having something real because you've built this wall around you.


For those of you who are keeping track, building a roster:


Pros

• Someone is always available
• Together, they make the perfect man
• Compartmentalize your interests/feelings
• Don't get too attached to one person

Cons

• You have to keep track of what stories/jokes you've told to whom
• You get names confused and have to program them into your phone by characteristics: Tall Tom, Buff Tod, etc.
• Don't get too attached to one person

I started building a roster a couple of months back, but I've pretty much wiped the slate clean to start over. There are times I just think about putting dating on hold because at the end of it all, Mr. Right(Now) just does it for me. He fulfills me on an emotional level and a physical level (even though he isn't remotely nearby). Ugh, who knows? I'm tired just thinking about it, so I think I'll stop.

Lesson Learned: I like Eggs Benedict, preferably with salmon.