Mr. Right (Now)

So why don't I write about the men I've met that I'm actually smittened with? Well, first of all, I think bliss is boring to read about.  The tragedies and ridiculous men are much more fun to read/write about.  However, I want to make sure that you all don't think I'm a man hater or that I haven't had ANY luck with men.


There is someone who I think about and talk to on a regular basis.  He's probably most things that I would want if I were emotionally available.  Unfortunately I'm not.  There's still this empty feeling within me and it's a reminder that I had invested so much in someone else for 4 years and that it just did not work out. There were many ways in that we (the ex and I) worked, but when someone cheats, it calls into question all the things we ever did.  He took me to St. Martin last year for my birthday and we had a wonderful time.  But now, I think about whether or not he had someone else at home who he was seeing. It puts quite the damper on what would have been a great memory.


Anyway, back to Mr. Right.  He's smart, funny, caring and of course, attractive. Exactly my type really.  We speak/chat almost every day and I know that I can call him for anything.  So does this make him my crutch? I've thought about this occasionally and I don't think it does.  He's a support system and has become one of my closest friends.  The physical chemistry is certainly there AND we could talk for days, but there's no way it could work right now.


I'm in a selfish frame of mind and need to remember/find out who I am separate from someone else. Did I mention that I'm a hollow shell of emotion? I'm not sure where exactly he's at mentally but I think it's fair to say that we're on the same page.  Maybe someday it'll work and maybe it won't.  The great part about being in this head space is not freaking out about what the future holds.  And to be honest, I wouldn't even know what to do with him if I had him...


Lesson Learned: Sometimes you have to live in the moment and not worry about what the future may hold.